6 Simple Steps to UNPUSH Your Life

UnPush is my word of 2019 and it’s a biggie.

I define UnPush as setting an intention and letting go of the “how”, staying out of what other people “should” do, setting aside time to rest and play, as well as work.

To learn how UnPush evolved for me over the course of 2018, go here for UnPush Relationships and here for UnPush Health.

UnPush is how I'm choosing to live this year. To me, UnPush is about setting an intention and letting go of how it will be accomplished. My job is to dream big and stay awake for opportunities that guide me toward my dreams. Do you choose a word of the year?

Here’s my UnPush model :

1. Unplug from the noise. Everyone else’s opinion, blogs, advice, outrage, all the outside stuff. You can’t create authentically when you’re not looking inward.

2. Name your fear. What are the thoughts keeping you from acting authentically? Write them down and examine them.

3. Practice intention. Ask yourself “What is my intention in this situation?” or, said another way, “Who do I want to be in this moment?”

4. Unattach from the outcome. We can’t know what’s going to happen in 5 minutes or 50 years. We drive ourselves crazy trying to predict and live from the future. Take a big breath and let go of everything but now.

5. Shift your focus to what ONE thing you could do that feels like love and aligns with your intention.

6. Heart center. Check in with your heart and stay true to LOVE. Keep asking: “What would love do in this moment?”

To learn how to apply the UnPush model to your life, click below for a free UnPush Your Life call.

UnPush in Health & Playful Dare Recap 2018

In 2018 I chose a phrase to guide my year and, silly me, I thought it was all about business.

PLAYFUL DARE was my phrase. To me, it meant I would challenge myself to take a risk every day in a playful way. Expand my business in an organic way. Say something I knew to be true. It felt like the strength of a rock, solid and purposeful, yet playful.

Playful daring felt great when I started!

But along the way, I started struggling. Instead of letting the dare happen organically, I was forcing myself to take a risk. I’d lost the play in PLAYFUL DARE. I was relying on willpower and gumption, believing I could rest/take a break/sleep another day, once “all this work” got done.

The problem was that it never got done. And the self care that I promised myself never happened. And my Essential Self , Martha Beck’s phrase for the authentic me that gets buried under the social self that’s out there doing what I think I '“should” be doing, my Essential Self started resenting all this work and no play.

Guess what happened?

My Essential Self whispered in my ear, “You’re not feeling great. You should slow down.”

“Hah!” replied my Social Self. “Watch me tap into my superhuman energy and push through this!” (She’s addicted to DOING.)

Then Essential Self tried to get my attention by tapping on my shoulder. My energy tanked. I noticed I had less momentum in my day. When I sat down, I fell asleep immediately. My brain was cloudy. My creativity went dormant.

I ignored it and pushed ahead.

Essential Self tried again. Turns out the adrenal glands don't like being stressed out with no reprieve. I took some time to understand my bloodwork, got on medication and soldiered on.

Next my Essential Self sent another message, a little louder. Perhaps at volume 5. I got sick with a virus that just wouldn’t quit. “Not gonna quit!” screamed my Social Self.

I coughed so hard that I dislocated a few ribs. I was trying to sleep sitting up to ease the pain and I was miserable. Volume 7.

Social Self pouted and persisted in the Doing… as much as I could. (Are you starting to see the ridiculousness in this???)

The next and thankfully last message came with more pain. Volume 10. I broke a bone in my foot. I literally could not walk and was ordered to stay off my feet.

Social Self finally got the message, loud and clear. There is a clear pattern of No Success in the DOING Right Now. My body needs to do NOTHING.

I threw myself into resting. I rested and slept and kicked back a lot. I gave myself permission to stop pushing. I stopped tormenting my brain with noisy chatter about how I “should” be DOING stuff. I relaxed into BEING.

I learned something profound.

I don’t have to earn my worthiness. I’m here and that makes me worthy. I don’t have to prove anything. I don’t have to DO anything. I’m worthy.

My word of the year PLAYFUL DARE ended up being about daring to do nothing as often as I could for the first half of the year. Daring to say “not now” and “my priority is healing myself and staying connected with my family.” Daring to believe that I am worthy because I am.

Did you get that?

YOU are worthy because you are.

Period.

A few months later, I was feeling better. PLAYFUL DARE took on a new meaning. A dare to be playful in my clothing choices, the events I said yes to and my relationship with my husband and kids. A dare to grow my business while being mindful of my energy.

The concept of UNPUSH, my 2019 word, expands on what I've learned from PLAYFUL DARE.

UNPUSH reminds me to slow down, reminds me I don't have to do all the heavy lifting alone. I'm partnering with synchronicity and magical opportunities that show up when I set intentions.

UNPUSH makes me a better wife because I’m focused on me, making myself the best version of me. I’m staying “in my own lane”, instead of nagging my partner to do his life differently. When I tell him what he “should” do, I repel him. When I tell myself how I want to grow, I magnetize him to me.

UNPUSH makes me a better mom because I have no agenda, other than help my kids learn to be kind and confident humans. I’m not attached to the specifics and the labels.

UNPUSH puts me into feminine flow, into the energy of following intuition and effortlessly taking the right next step. UNPUSH allows for organic motion and progress.

UNPUSH taps into the easy flow of water energy and water is vastly stronger than rock.

How about we learn to UNPUSH together?

Word of the Year + Go with the Flow = 2019 AMAZINGNESS

You’re invited!

I'm hosting a virtual workshop "Go with the Flow" that will help you start 2019 on purpose.

During our time together, you will identify your word to guide your year and take this process deeper by learning how to get into the energy of flow. You know the times you’re in flow—you see the next right step and the world feels abundant with opportunity.

I will teach you how to get into the energy of flow and unpush your way into success...which is completely the opposite of struggling and pushing to make progress.

Whether you're a pro at choosing your word or you've never heard of it but are curious, you'll be in the right place. :) 

Thursday Dec 13th 4-5:30pm Pacific time $49 ❤️

Why You Should Choose a Word of the Year

Do you choose a word to guide your year?

I've been selecting a word of the year for about a decade and what I've found is that my word gives me permission to explore new ideas. I love the process and how it's evolved over time. Each word I’ve chosen feels right for a set period of time and I remember them all fondly.

Years ago, I chose my word by myself, with my last year's calendar in front of me so I could remember my main projects, life events, celebrations and struggles. Over the years, I started inviting my friends to join me and that evolved into what is now Celebrate You®. We start with a day of unapologetic dreaming called the Celebrate You Extravaganza and continue to gathering in self-discovery and celebration as we evolve.

Some sample words you might want to explore:

• Intuition

• Abundance

• Health

• Connection

• Self-compassion

• Boundaries

• Savor

• Self-care

• Truth

Do any of those words speak to you?

If not, ask a friend to exchange notes with you. How would they sum up your last 6 months? And you do the same for them.

Or the next time you've got family or friends around the dinner table, start a conversation. "I'm thinking about choosing a word of the year. Who's in?" You’ll be amazed at what happens next! Kids get involved, the conversation deepens and you all feel connected. After you each have a word, it’s easy to check in with the group, maybe weekly or monthly, to see how their word is influencing them.

Have you chosen a Word of the Year for 2019 yet?

It’s not too late.

In fact, today is the perfect day to choose a word to guide you.

Here’s how my word picks bubble up—I reflect on all that’s happened and the major lessons that I’m learning (or not!) I might look at my calendar to see where I’ve been lately and what I’ve achieved and what I’ve struggled with. I think about how I’ve felt physically and emotionally. Word possibilities start to swirl around my mind and eventually one or two stand out. It might take a minute or a month to filter through the options.

The Gulp Factor

I know I’ve got my word when I see it in my mind and I get excited and a little nervous. My friend calls this “The Gulp Factor”—seeing the significance and meaning behind the word and being a bit awe-struck by the depth.

Poet and artist Mary Anne em Radmacher and I had a blast sharing our 2018 words and how they have impacted our year in this video. Not surprisingly, we both had more than one word to guide us. We also choose words regularly to impact our week, day and hour.

Mary Anne em Radmacher & me chatting about our words of the year

In this Video:

• Our 2018 words and how they’re influencing our decisions this year (spoiler alert—we both have more than one word!)

• How our words sometimes have a different purpose than what we imagined. How funny is that, Universe!

• Some techniques to choose a word of the year

• Our 2019 words!

How to choose your word Video

Have you ever been curious about how a word can guide you? Here's a quick guide to choosing a year and a few reasons why it's such a meaningful practice.

Why a WORD is better than a New Year’s Resolution

You know that exhilarating feeling of setting a Resolution in January… followed by that “oh well, guess that’s not going to happen” disappointment in March? Let’s avoid that. Setting a huge goal then realizing you aren’t going to do it isn’t kind to yourself. The classic example is “I’m going to the gym every day and I’m going to lose 20 pounds this year.”

That’s a BIG goal.

And there’s brain science behind why big goals fail most of the time.

Our brains just can’t handle that kind of massive change. We’ll have more success if we take tiny steps toward choosing new habits that support the big goal, like step one might be putting our tennis shoes by the front door for the first 3 days and step two might be putting on work out clothes the next 3 days.

See that? We haven’t even gone to the gym yet and we’re on day 7. But that’s how your brain works.

Instead, when you choose a word, it’s easy to incorporate that word into your day. Maybe your word is Health. “Health” will help you make micro-decisions throughout your day. Maybe you’ll take a smaller portion of breakfast. Maybe you’ll journal for 5 minutes. Maybe you’ll count your steps and challenge yourself to take 50 more steps each month. All of those actions support your word “Health”.

Get someone else involved for success

The other piece of successfully choosing a word is to have someone to talk to about your word. To have accountability on what you say you’ll do. To offer compassion when you forget. To encourage you when you need help. Family, friend, co-worker… find someone you can share this journey with.

You’re invited to join my tribe

You're invited to join the Celebrate You tribe for a day of unapologetic dreaming. A day of opening up to the Universe and partnering with magic. A day that holds laughter and self-discovery in an intimate setting. The Celebrate You® Extravaganza is a life-changing event that will provide clarity and focus, based on your values. Join HERE.

Let me know your word in the comments.

Parenting Win

My 12 year old is a planner and a lover of severe weather. He's ready for the bus with time to spare every day. He stresses out about being late. He harasses his sister to "get going so we won't be late". 

Guess what new skill he's mastered this week, in our 28 degree mornings without a garage???

He takes his extra 5 minutes and starts my car, turns on the defroster and seat warmers and scrapes the ice off the windshield!

And he LOVES it.

He’s learning a new skill, outside in the elements he loves, doing something for his family. I call that a win!

Bonus for him: If he has extra time, he tests the ice in various places and has a good time looking for icicles.

Where could you plug into your child’s strengths AND create a family win?

My Favorite Personality Assessment: Enneagram Basics

“Building A StoryBrand” by Donald Miller is one of my favorite marketing and general business podcasts.

Guess which type I am?

In The Do’s and Don’ts of Leading Each Enneagram Type, Donald Miller interviews Ian Cron and this is my all-time favorite episode because it focuses on our personality types, teaches us how to showcase our strengths and how to lead other people to showcase theirs and builds a common language so we can better communicate how we prefer to work.

It’s always smarter when we UnPush and work on ourselves instead of trying to makeover everyone else, right?

Have you heard of the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is a personality typing system that teaches us that there are nine basic personality styles in the world. These styles, or “types,” deeply influence how we think and act. Not surprisingly, our personalities change in times of comfort and stress and this system reflect that reality. 

There’s a wealth of information that comes from knowing your type and how you perform in ideal situations and in stress.

Who can benefit? Everyone. Whether you’re a solopreneur or managing 10,000 people, you’ll be delighted to understand yourself and others better. Instead of thinking “I can’t work with her!”, you’ll notice she’s coming at the problem entirely differently.

I have a friend who said she used to fight tooth and nail with her boss and they got nowhere until they both took an assessment. They realized he was an ideas guy and floated out 20 ideas a day. Both good and bad. No filter. She was a practical, “is this actually a GOOD idea” woman and tended to shoot down his bad ideas relentlessly. When they learned that he needed to hear “Wow, you’ve been so productive!” and she needed to hear “Thanks for averting disasters!”, they started appreciating each other and the skills they brought to work.

Appreciating each other for our strengths. Win-win.

You can take Cron’s free version of the test here for free to get an idea of the Enneagram type you might be. There’s a longer, more in-depth paid version here at the Enneagram Institute if you get hooked. I’m betting you’ll ask your family and co-workers take it too!

So, why don’t you take the free version and let me know what Enneagram type you are? We’ll exchange notes!

And for personalized instruction in all the Enneagram is, I have a recommendation. Pam Matchie-Thiede is my expert of choice to have long, fascinating conversations about Enneagram types with and learn how each style of personality interact, lead and create. She’s for hire and she will blow your mind with her observations!

Phenomenal Woman

Ruthie Foster is an American singer-songwriter of blues and folk music. She mixes a wide palette of American song forms, from gospel and blues to jazz, folk and soul. She has often been compared to Bonnie Raitt and Aretha Franklin.

Based on the poem Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou, this song lifts me up. Every. Time.

I dedicate this song to you, phenomenal woman (or man who reveres the women in his life as phenomenal).

My people

You know who my people are?

photo by Nicole De Khors

My people are hard-working type A's who are hell-bent on squeezing the most out of life.

My people spend their days solving problems for others and their nights dreaming about how they're going to change world.

My people get mistaken for superheros because they follow their super-human passions and create magical opportunities.

My people believe we are better when we lift each other up.

My people live & die by the moments they choose to laugh in the face of adversity, to connect in the moments they're scared and to explore new possibilities. Even when life sucks.

My people love deep conversations and aren't afraid to show up real.

My people have a deep burning desire to CELEBRATE.

My people are dreamers, visionaries, heart-led humans and I am so blessed to be surrounded by these wonderful people.

Who are your people?

photo by Nicole De Khors

TWO Choices for Clarity and Connection with Celebrate You™ in 2018

History of Celebrate You™

Historically, the Celebrate You™ gathering in January has been a half day spent wrapping up last year's lessons and thoughts and discovering the next year's intentions and inspired actions, then ending with a word of the year chosen by each of us.

2017 has been a year of growth for the Celebrate You™ movement and in an effort to include more women, we're offering two options for this first meeting.

Choices in 2018

We're expanding and you have two choices!

1. A Weekend Retreat in Port Townsend, WA to expand the time for learning, connecting and celebrating yourself

2. A One Day Retreat in Langley, WA the traditional time filled with meaningful connections and celebrations

Everyone is Welcome to Come

Just like in previous years, everyone is welcome to participate in this first meeting. No membership is required for these events. Both events will use the 2018 Celebrate You™ Workbook and offer similar content. 

Of course... we do hope that you continue the momentum by joining the 12-month self-discovery program called Celebrate You™.

Choose your Word of the Year

Do you choose a word of the year?

I've been selecting a word of the year for about 8 years and what I've found is that my word gives me permission to explore new ideas. I love the process and how it's evolved over time!

I started choosing a word by myself, with my last year's calendar in front of me so I could remember my main projects, life events, celebrations and struggles. Over the years, I started inviting my friends to join me and that evolved into what is now the Celebrate You™  movement. We start with a year-end review and intention-setting retreat in January and continue the monthly gatherings--including monthly topics and tools to live an authentic life and a workbook to hold all the content .

Here's a 2 page worksheet to get you started on your word!

And a link to the recording that accompanies the worksheet: "How (and Why) to Choose a Word of the Year".  The recording includes instructions on how to use the worksheet, a guided visualization that will help you find your word and a challenge--find a safe place to share your word: maybe at your family's holiday gathering or in another supportive environment.

Here's another resource--a Facebook live with me and Mary Anne Radmacher with ideas on choosing a word to guide your year. (Please forgive me looking at my phone screen at the beginning. My job was to make sure we were live, and my phone said we weren't. I was a little worried... )

Watch what happens when you take the conversation to this level of authenticity! 

I'd love to hear from you. What's your 2018 word?

Words to explore:

• Intuition

• Abundance

• Health

• Connection

• Self-compassion

• Boundaries

• Savor

• Self-care

• Truth

Try it--the next time you've got family or friends around the dinner table, start the conversation. "I'm thinking about choosing a word of the year for next year. Who's in?" You might just be amazed at what happens next!

For more information about Celebrate You™ groups and how CY renews our commitment to our word every month, click here.

What the heck is a Life Coach?

When I people I'm a life coach, I get one of two responses. A smile with lit up eyes and "I've been wanting to learn more about life coaching" OR a confused, I-should-probably-go-now look.

This is for the people with the second response…

"OK, what's a life coach?" you ask, feeling a little weird about asking.

Here's my simple answer:

What's a Life Coach? How can a life coach help me?

Here's my longer answer: A life coach helps you discover and clarify what you want most from life and helps you create a plan to achieve your version of success. Then she reminds you of your intentions as life happens, distractions come up and you temporarily get off your success path. Gentle accountability over time is key to extraordinary results.

Reasons to hire a life coach:

• Feeling stuck in a career,

• Disappointed with health issues,

• Overwhelmed with parenting dilemmas

• Unconnected in personal relationships

• Struggling at work

• Unable to make a big decision

--any kind of a puzzle in your life, really.

Many coaches have a specialty. Mine is helping family businesses, coaches and other professionals find extraordinary success, both personally and professionally.

Life coaching is similar to other types of coaching—imagine you're hiring a trainer at the gym. They're going to ask what your goals are, assess where you are on your journey and provide some new tools. What they're doing to your muscles, life coaches are doing to your thoughts and feelings around your circumstances (your mind), but without bucket loads of sweat.

Did you know that we have about 50,000 thoughts a day and the vast majorityare repetitive, non-productive thoughts?

For instance: "I'm so stupid for eating that third slice of cake last night." "My sister always treats me like a baby." "I'll never get promoted at work." All non-productive and repetitive chatter that keeps us down. Sound familiar?

Many times we're unknowingly stuck in a negative feedback loop. Then we wonder why nothing ever changes. Ha!

A life coach can help you notice your patterns and replace the non-productive thoughts with other, more supportive (and truthful) thoughts.

Here's a metaphor I like to use.

As a coach, I'm like a lighthouse keeper.

My job is to keep the lighthouse in working order, shining brightly. My client is like a lighthouse in need of maintenance. The light has dulled—maybe it's internal (a thought like "I don't know who I am anymore") and the lens of the lighthouse needs to be polished and re-focused. Maybe it's external—it's really foggy with poor visibility (maybe you just got laid off and aren't sure what to do next).

I can help you notice where your light has dulled or where the fog has clouded your vision and offer tools to see things clearly, to change perspective, to try new ways of living intentionally.

The benefits are real! My clients brag about reducing their blood pressure from sky-high to normal, reaching wildly improbable goals like doubling their sales with their existing customer base or  planning (and starting!) a 3-month backpacking trip to Europe at age 59, adding some self-care like going away for a girls weekend and letting a husband have the kids for a weekend, even if he isn't thrilled about it…

Want to experience what a life coach does for yourself? Sign up for a free 30 minute Strategy Session.

Celebrate You™ Workbook lets you Kick your never-completed Resolutions to the Curb

The easiest way to ditch the New Year's resolutions that fade by March and design REAL life-long changes that support you!

By designing a 30,000 foot, high-level plan for the year based on your values and intentions (Celebrate You™ Workbook), then breaking the plan into quarterly and monthly achievable goals (Celebrate You™ Planner), it’s easy to align your big intentions with your every day actions. You’ll see amazing results!

The Mission of the Celebrate You™ Workbook: Creating a Life Filled with Intention

To guide and support you in creating a life filled with intention and purpose so that you go to bed knowing you checked off the boxes that really mattered.

You’ll see the benefits of living with intention starting on day one.

· Become aware of your purpose each day

· Enjoy a deeper understanding of yourself

· Create boundaries around your day

· Design your day so it’s easy to accomplish your goals

· Add healthy habits into your day effortlessly

· Make your dreams a reality with inspired actions

Click the image to see sample pages.

Stop making those guilt-inducing, hard to accomplish New Year's resolutions that fade and welcome the Living on Purpose Philosophy of the Celebrate You™ Workbook.

Message from Lisa Honold, Founder of Celebrate You™

“I’m Lisa Honold, Certified Martha Beck Life Coach and my mission is to inspire and support you as you create an extraordinary life, moment by intentional moment.  I’m founder of Celebrate You™, a global movement that celebrates intentional living. I dedicate this workbook to you, a human being who dares to celebrate your greatness. ”

Celebrate You™ Quarterly Planner: Daily Check in with your intentions

Create each day with intention, align with your values and go to bed satisfied that you checked off the boxes that really mattered in your life.

By designing a 30,000 foot, high-level plan for the year based on your values and intentions (Celebrate You™ Workbook), then breaking the plan into quarterly and monthly achievable goals (Celebrate You™ Planner), it’s easy to add inspired actions into each day. You’ll see amazing results when you spend 15 minutes each morning aligning with your intentions.

You’ll see the benefits of living with intention starting on day one.

· Become aware of your purpose each day

· Enjoy a deeper understanding of yourself

· Create boundaries around your day

· Design your day so it’s easy to accomplish your goals

· Add healthy habits into your day effortlessly

· Make your dreams a reality with inspired actions

Click the image to see sample pages.

 

Message from Lisa Honold, Founder of Celebrate You™

“I’m Lisa Honold, Certified Martha Beck Life Coach and my mission is to inspire and support you as you create an extraordinary life, moment by intentional moment.  I’m founder of Celebrate You™, a global movement that celebrates intentional living. I created this planner to help me stay on track with my goals and intentions. I simplified my life by combining my daily journal, projects notebook, dinner planner, to-do lists and quarterly goals with my traditional daily planner to create ONE place for everything. I no longer need to search for the “right” book because there’s only one place to put everything. Give it a try—it’s a life changer!”

What Home Feels Like

As I reflect on 2016, one of the great things about our six weeks of travel last Fall was teaching my kids how to feel settled and safe emotionally, in their hearts, when we're unsettled physically. How to live from a suitcase. How to pack and unpack every day. How to make each space we slept in feel safe and homey. How to value what we have. How to play with and enjoy each other. How to notice similarities and differences in all the settings.

This year we've created more unsettledness in our physical surroundings. We're moving an hour away in stages and have things scattered in boxes here and there. We left our home of 8 years last month with clothes, books and things we cared most about. I brought the basics for the smaller rental house and the extra stuff won't follow us for awhile, perhaps not ever. My husband is transitioning more slowly, living at our previous home and readying it for resale. We're building a house a few minutes away from the rental, questioning how our family functions and what structures would support us best.

There's discomfort in the unsettledness, the not-knowing and all the newness. A month ago, making a fire in a woodstove was completely foreign to me. Fire burns stuff automatically, right? I thought. How hard could it be??? I'll tell you how hard--we froze our patooties off the first week! The woodstove in our rental is the primary source of heat. And I like heat. After much practice, some advice from friends and Youtube and some hands-on lessons with my husband, I'm a much better fire builder. Now the time I spend making a fire is like a meditation inviting awareness.

We have at least two more moves ahead of us this year. One to another temporary space, hopefully on our property, and one to the home we're building. Yet right now we feel settled at this home, in this space. The rental is cozy and filled with heart. The move feels right. Crazy, but right. Our new community reflects our values and we've benefited from the love and support of friends in the transition.

We're home.

We feel settled in our hearts.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "home" as "the social unit of a family living together" and "a familiar or usual setting". I believe our family is enhancing our social unit by teaching the spirit of "home", the settled, safe feeling that is a family living together and caring for each other in any setting, familiar or otherwise.

"Say you're SORRY!"

How many times have you overheard a parent snarl this?

The tone is angry, the underlying message is "Say you're sorry or ELSE" and it's really not about the child expressing regret anymore. It's about the parent feeling out of control or embarrassed or angry about the situation.

Even if she says sorry, is she, in that moment? I'm guessing not. I'd be scared if my parent was mad at me.

What ARE we teaching when we force an apology? To ignore feelings, to lie about reality (everybody knows the kid isn’t sorry!), to decide someone else knows more than our kids about their emotions.

Ouch. That’s not what I want to teach.

But what else can we do? How do kids develop empathy without forcing the "I'm sorry?"

Here’s an idea.

Try this--once they're calmed down, ask both kids how they're feeling and what would make them feel better about what just happened.

With my kids, sometimes that means a promise to not hurt each other or a silly high five or a video of their goofy faces together or drawing a comic together or even a traditional apology.

I'm generally amazed at the ideas they have for what will repair their relationships.

The kids get to practice checking in with each other and deciding what would feel good. They're negotiating, trading ideas, solving their own problems using their words and skills.